HATE & INDIFFERENCE (Hope you LOVE IT!)

Posted on | September 21, 2010 | 1 Comment

“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.  The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference.  And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.”

– Elie Wiesel




What is Hate?

Hate is a strong word and even a stronger as a feeling that is experienced.  Most dictionaries state the definition of hate to be something along the lines of intense dislike or extreme hostility.  People throw around the word and it is often exaggerated but for my purposes, I intend it to mean anything that someone dislikes and causes them to feel negative feelings inside their body.  Essentially, if someone tells me they hate something that implies to me it “bothers” them.

Hate is obviously destructive as far as your actions go because you can get yourself in trouble and potentially harm others.  It is also destructive to your health/normal body functioning, your happiness and accomplishing your goals.

WHERE ARE YOUR FOCUS & ENERGY GOING?

Love and hate are similar to each other in that they are both strong emotional feelings towards something.  In either case something is affecting you in some way and by doing so you are make it relevant and giving it some level of importance in your life.  If your time, focus and energy are going towards things that are not conducive to helping you, it is being wasted and you are being distracted.  When something has the ability to do that, you are vulnerable to it and are not really in control of your emotions.  The more we live with fewer things affecting us on our path to accomplishing our goals, enjoying our lives and being happy, the more effective we will be at achieving all that.

The opposite of both LOVE and HATE is INDIFFERENCE – not having a general concern about something or more bluntly put, NOT GIVING A SHIT.  Indifference has a lot to do with where your focus lies.  If something has little to you impact on you, why should you care?

I like baseball so let’s illustrate with another baseball analogy.  The following is not a generalization; it is just a real life example from my experiences that I hope will illustrate my point clearer.

I am a Yankees fan living in New York and I have friends as well as meet many people who are Mets fans who claim they hate the Yankees.  They will even go as far as to root for other teams to beat the Yankees. While I am not a Mets fan, I am indifferent to how the Mets perform.  I find it to be silly to being that both teams are not even division rivals and do not really affect each other’s chances of winning.  They are entitled to feel however they want but it gives me a chuckle knowing that the team I love has gotten to them and affects them in some way.  Is it jealousy over the Yankee or Yankees fans?  Is it disliking the Yankees because they are another NY team besides the one they root for?  It is irrelevant.  The fact is my friends can go on and on about how they do not care about the Yankees but when they win, it bothers them and when they lose, they are happy.  My focus is on my team winning and not on how a team that is irrelevant performs.

“Haters”

“If you don’t want to be criticized…do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” –Elbert Hubbard

Another example is a lot of people like to talk about “haters.”  A hater is someone who typically has a dislike for someone else, does not want to see them succeed and wants to take them down a peg with their constant negativity.  People like this will typically be gossiping and enjoy ripping other people in conversation to others.  They like to put themselves in a position to pass judgment upon others.  Haters are tremendously affected emotionally by other people and aim to affect others in a negative way.

I believe when someone like a musician or celebrity says “Fuck the haters,” it helps to send a positive message to others.  The message is that they are unaffected by haters and that others should do the same by sticking to what they are doing and be who they are regardless of judgment from others.  However, I do believe this can be very overdone.  There are people who talk so much about haters, how they do not care about them and yet say something like “this is for all the haters, take that!” or celebrating accomplishment by mentioning haters.

In scenarios like this, a person can speak all they want about not being affected but the truth is, they are.  It is possible that it can be motivating in a positive way but nonetheless, it is still living in reaction to others.  If you hope or are glad that your success /happiness upsets the haters, you are living in reaction to them.  If you continually bring them up, you are showing they are relevant to you.  If you are happy and realize that some are going to be happy for you and some are going to hate and you do not care because your opinion of yourself and what you are doing means more– you are indifferent.  Remember that what you demonstrate, ALWAYS has a more powerful impact than what you say.

The key here is staying focused and really asking yourself when you find yourself caring about something that bothers you: “Do I have a good reason to care about this? How does this personally affect me?”  If the answer is based on petty reasons, it is time to move past it.

DG


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